2026 Mindset, Mental, Model

Wake up. Check phone. 2026. I am 27. Noo, Damn it.

I remember when Fiersa Besari once wrote: "Nyatakan perasaan, hentikan penyesalan, maafkan kesalahan, tertawakan kenangan, kejar impian. Hidup terlalu singkat untuk dipakai meratap." I keep coming back to this quote. It sounds simple, but it is not. Most people spend years stuck in regret, afraid to say what they feel, afraid to move. This quote reminds me that time is moving whether I am ready or not. So I might as well move with it.

It has been many months since I last touched this site. Not because I lost interest. I just got busy rewiring my entire brain.

2025 Was... A Lot

I do not really know how to summarise 2025. A lot of things happened, some I planned, most I did not.

I got accepted to KTH. Terang AI grew to 7000 users and 3 B2B clients. I became a Staff Engineer at a YC company. We won an award at a BRICS competition. I mass-applied to countless things and got rejected by most of them.

Looking back, it is like hallucinogenic. Not in a "wow I am so great" way, gosh, NPD? no, because I hid the actual failing processes haha. It is More like sitting in a room full of puzzle pieces, wondering how they all ended up here. Some pieces fit, automagically. Some do not. I am still figuring that out honestly.

But here is what I have been asking myself lately: is this worth it? Is all this discomfort actually leading somewhere, or am I just exhausting myself for nothing?

I was reading something the other night, trying to make sense of why I felt so tired doing things I actually enjoyed. Came across this idea called the Learning Zone Model. It says growth happens when we push beyond our comfort zone, but not so far that we panic and shut down. The sweet spot is the stretch. That uncomfortable place where we are learning, struggling, but still moving. Push too little, we stagnate. Push too hard, we burn out.

I think I have been living in that stretch zone for a while now. And honestly? Some days it feels like growth. Other days it just feels like exhaustion. The tricky part is they look the same from the inside.

What I do know is this: I am more assertive now than I was a year ago. I used to shrink. I used to apologise for taking up space. Now I speak up. I push back. I trust my own ideas more. That did not come from staying comfortable. It came from all the moments I wanted to quit but did not.

So maybe the answer is not "is this worth it?" Maybe the better question is: "am I still learning, or am I just surviving?" If I am still learning, I keep going. If I am just surviving, I need to step back and breathe.

Something that Made Me Cry in 2025?

I have a true story. this story will not be generated by freakin AI.

I was fixing a bug in our AI interview feature. To debug it, I had to listen to user recordings. Random ones. Just checking if the audio was processed correctly.

(This is a non-technical story, don't worry)

Then I heard it. A rooster crowing in the background. The sound of a village morning. And a voice, practicing for an LPDP scholarship interview, using Terang AI to prepare.

I cried.

Indo: Gue mbrebes.

My eyes feel warm and teary, I am mortified lol.

I couldn't say anything, my tears had fallen, I didn't know what was happening, I couldn't say anything, I was frozen and focused on listening to her voice.

It was not just the rooster. It was her voice. The way she spoke, and through the sound frequency, and amplitude, she was not just practicing answers. She was telling her story like she had nothing to lose. I could hear the spirit, the hunger, the belief that this was her chance. As human, we have a human perception to feel the frequency when someone talks, read the emotions, and psychological spectrum. Every word sent shivers down my spine. She did not have a quiet room or a fancy microphone. She had chickens in the background and a dream she refused to let go.

And that time, I thought:

"how can I be weak when someone like her is fighting this hard?,"

You will never know how much that recording meant to me. Someone in a village, far from the big cities, far from the expensive tutors and prep courses, was using something I built to chase their dream. That was the moment everything changed for me.

Anyway, Indonesia ranked 69th out of 81 countries in the latest PISA scores. Only 18% of our students meet minimum proficiency in mathematics. Those are not just numbers. Those are millions of kids whose potential is stuck because the system failed them.

Terang AI is my answer to that. AI-powered personalised learning and exam simulation. Not the generic buzzword stuff. Actual tools that work for Indonesian students.

In one year, we grew to over 7,000 users and 3 B2B clients. We won an award at BRICS. We are partnering with communities in Papua and NTT to reach students in Eastern Indonesia.

But honestly? The numbers are not why I wake up and work on this. That recording is. That rooster is. That voice practicing alone in a village, believing they have a chance.

This is not just a startup. This is the thing I would do even if nobody paid me.

Levers: What Working at a YC Company Actually Teaches Me

Since August 2024, I have been working at Levers Inc., a YC S22 company. Started as a Platform Engineer, now Staff.

People romanticise YC companies. "Oh, you work at a YC startup? Must be exciting!" And yeah, it is. But it is also brutal in the best way.

Here is what nobody tells us: YC culture is not about perks or fancy offices. It is about velocity. It is about shipping things that matter, fast. It is about being comfortable with ambiguity and solving problems we have never seen before, sometimes before our morning coffee kicks in.

At Levers, I designed and deployed Saudi Arabia first SAMA-compliant AI telephony infrastructure. That is the Saudi banking sector, one of the most regulated markets on Earth. We built defense systems for our core AI assets. We presented to investment committees about IP defensibility for Series A.

The technical stuff is cool. But the real lesson? Speed compounds. Every week we do not ship is a week our competition gets closer. YC companies understand this at a cellular level.

Working here also changed something in me.

There were moments when I was given problems that felt way above my level. Problems where the safe answer was "we need someone more experienced." And honestly, they were not wrong. I did not have the experience.

But I kept asking myself: why not try? I knew the risks. I knew I might fail. But I also thought, what is there to lose? If I fail, we learn something. If I succeed, we move forward.

So I tried. And sometimes it worked. More often than I expected.

That taught me something I carry with me now: do not wait until you feel ready. Do not wait for permission. If you are aware of the risks and willing to learn, just try. The worst case is you fail and learn. The best case is you prove everyone wrong, including yourself.

One More (important*) Thing

I have noticed that throughout 2025, I was so focused on building that I forgot to... you know... exist as a human being sometimes.

Late nights debugging infrastructure. Weekends spent on pitch decks. Networking events where I forgot to eat.

2026 goal is not just professional growth. It is finding balance. Maybe picking up a hobby that does not involve a terminal. Maybe exploring this city I have been living in but barely seeing. I want to plan my retirement at my early 30s, like 30 or 31.

And maybe, finally make some time for a social life, travel somewhere in the world.

I am single btw, you can find my CV in the below pa... (apa sih ini?!)

We will see, nggak tau juga.

Sweden Can Wait

I received an admission letter from KTH Royal Institute of Technology. One of Europe top technical universities. When I got that email, I just stared at my screen for a while. This was the kind of thing I used to daydream about.

Why Sweden? Why not the US or the UK?

I don't know. I am not interested.

Honestly, it is just a dream I have carried since I was a kid. Back then, I used to imagine myself studying in Germany. I had no real reason, just a feeling, maybe I was inspired by our 3rd President, Pak B.J. Habibie. Now I cannot find a reason to choose Germany over Sweden. The dream switched and evolving, but the core stayed the same: go somewhere far in the European Countries, learn something new, prove to myself that I can.

And long story short, I deferred it. Why?

(please no offense, this is just my false dilemma) Here is something I have realised: studying for a master degree abroad usually falls into two categories.

• Either the parents are wealthy.
• Or parents are wealthy and some do not have to work, so they can focus entirely on chasing this dream.

I am neither.

The IELTS test alone costs money. The application fees, the preparation, the documents. None of that is free. And while I was figuring all of this out, I was also thinking about what to eat tomorrow and how to help my family. That is the reality.

You know Sandwich gen? It is a redflag, to some extent hhaha. meh... but it is real.

And even if I make it there, I know my mind will still be here. Thinking about home. Thinking about how everyone is doing back in Indonesia. That does not just disappear when you board a plane. They would say "It's okay, just focus on your study, we are totally fine here," But I know the reality is not. This will eventually hurt me, considering the uni intake is 2 years. Frugal living is not healthy in Jakarta brother, especially for your family.

I did the math. 360,000 SEK for two years of tuition (it is probably 650 million IDR). Add living costs and you are looking at around 450 million IDR total, this is something that you need to prove to a Swedish Embassy, to ensure you will not be a gembel di negara orang. That is not a small number, cumulatively. That is a house in some parts of Indonesia, I am definitely exercising frugal living for real now for myself to save all of this.

I am the first guy and have three younger sisters still in school and university (she is in Trisakti). My dad drives Gojek, my mom takes care of the house. Going to Sweden right now just does not make sense. The wall, and the threshold is real. I need to find out how to save the energy to break it.

And yes I tried for scholarships. But 2025 was also the year my grandpa and uncle passed away. I feel that 2025 is not my year, and it is just giving me time to take a step back. It was hard to focus on that process when stuff like that happens. Missed some deadlines, did not perform my best. It is what it is.

Why not LPDP? I tried it, but I can't focus due to the above reason.

So now I am working towards it. Self-funded, no problem. With what I earn now from my salary, one year of saving and I am there. KTH is not a closed door. Just a matter of time.

It is not the most glamorous reason. But it is the real one.

What Keeps Me Going

Back in 2018, my second year of college at University of Indonesia, I was using a small, chunky black ThinkPad that was already 7 years old. Slow, barely functioning, held together by my own repairs because that is all I could afford. I spent more time fixing that laptop than actually using it. But that machine got me through my thesis. That machine did not care about my excuses.

There is research that says scarcity actually makes you more creative. When you have less, your brain is forced to think beyond the obvious solutions. I believe that. That broken laptop did not limit me. It taught me to be resourceful.

I also learned something important at work. I had an idea for a new approach to our AI system. Some people were skeptical. Why not just hire someone experienced, they said. But one person listened. He said it made sense. He trusted me to try. And now it is working.

That taught me something I want to carry forward: when someone comes to you with an idea, especially someone younger or less experienced, give them the chance. Be the person who says "it makes sense, let us try" instead of the person who shuts it down. I want to nurture that same belief in others.

I think about that a lot now. Conditions were never perfect. They still are not. But I kept going anyway.

Do not overthink the worst case. Do not wait for the perfect moment. Just focus and execute. Everything you do shapes you. Maybe not in the way you expect, but it does. If you stay consistent, you end up somewhere. Not because the universe owes you anything, but because you kept moving while others were still thinking about it.

That is the whole secret of mine as Alfian. There is no magic. Just do not stop.

Final Thoughts

If 2025 taught me anything, it is that growth is not linear. Sometimes you are climbing. Sometimes you are falling. Sometimes you are strapped to a rocket and just holding on.

But I keep moving.

I build things that matter. I work with people who inspire me. I take bets on myself even when the odds look ridiculous.

2026 is about continuing that momentum. Mindset: growth. Mental: focused (mostly). Model: ship fast, learn faster.

Let us see what happens.

Thanks for reading. Btw, If you made it this far too, you are a real one. Drop me a message, I would love to hear what you are building in 2026.

Cheers!