The hardest question in my life?
Introduction
We will likely have so many questions throughout our lives, and unfortunately, there are instances when we have no clue how to answer them. It's a little bit weird, why a specific question persistently occupies our thoughts as if something is calling out to us without providing a clear solution.
The First Enigma Unfolds
I remember when I was 11 years old in 2010. I have a question that I realize it is really hard to understand it. So, I went to the internet cafe, walked to the admin desk, and innocently asked Mas Dika—
(Mahardika Septiardi a.k.a Mas Dika was the internet cafe owner in the district around my house. We are so close, and to me, he is just like a brother. At that time, he is still pursuing his college in Bina Nusantara University and opened his own internet cafe)
"Mas, why the heck do we need to get money by doing some work in the office or selling something out there? Some people are also really poor, hard to get their things in their lives. I knew from the TV, that governments can print money for us easily. Why don't they print it for poor people? so we can have a better economy overall?" I started asking.
"What actually do you want to buy if you get a bunch of money right now?" he answered with a question.
"I want to buy a Point Blank Cash so I will have unlimited time for Kriss's weapon in my Diamond II account," I answered it with a game voucher as a thing (LMFAO)
"No, no, just keep it simple, let's stick to consumable things that are real and straightforward," he said.
"Oh, It's just like I want to have unlimited rice, so I don't need to worry about food supply anymore," this time I answered correctly.
"Now, where is the rice coming from? And who made it?"
"Rice fields and a farmer?" I answered again.
"Exactly! Now, imagine if we were to give a farmer unlimited money. They would no longer need to work in a rice field, and instead, they might build their own houses or buy other interests. But then, who will handle the rice field? Nobody. — Nobody will. Consequently, there won't be enough rice or food for you, for everyone.
When people work, they produce goods or provide services that fulfill the needs and wants of others. Money is a representation of that value.
If we were to give everyone in this country unlimited money, the existence of money itself wouldn't make sense. Nothing would hold value anymore. Money is valuable because it represents something that is valuable," he answered my question comprehensively.
It took me a while to understand, but as time goes by, I realize that it was the first time I got an answer that I wanted to hear. I truly believe that it was the conclusive answer to my first hardest question when I was 11 years old.
The Quest for Clarity
The pattern of the 'hardest question' is likely to remain the same until today. Some concept is not easily answerable. Additionally, I have found that seeking help from human experts has been more effective than relying on digital resources like Google, chatGPT (AI language model), or other digital assistants.
Some of our hardest questions might not have definitive answers, or the answers might be subjective and dependent on the context. In such cases, human experts can provide valuable insights and different perspectives that are difficult for AI models to replicate, or even google as the king of knowledge resources.
Seeking guidance from others is important to find unique insights.
The Value of Human Expertise
The next steps depend on a specific situation and the nature of the hardest question I am currently facing.
Recently I did the same thing I did 13 years ago:
I defined my question:
"What is success mean for my life?"
and reach out to experts. The hardest questions, however, have been consistent in their complexity and difficulty over time. I have found that the responses are not entirely conclusive.
They only talked about the "Quarter-life crisis, yadda-yadda" but I didn't experience that spectrum. It's not my case anymore. I defined my plan very well for my future. I defined my problem and my question. And everything is still on track. Is it still included in the crisis timeline? probably yes. To be honest, I don't have such a crisis at all now since I dealt with it a couple of years ago. The only thing that I try to look for is the answer to my hardest question, that's it.
This brings me to a dubious state.
"Is it because I didn't identify their expertise correctly before?
so did I ask it to the wrong person?
Or Is my question too hard? or too subjective?
or what? Or are they simply dumb? or I am just stupid? haffftt,"
Human limitations: Of course, they can't read minds or know all our life histories, as they're not psychic.
We can't assume that they will understand every single context of our lives.
The Art of Patience: A Constant Journey
I am Googling... Bing-ing... Yandexing... Scopus-ing... Elsevier-ing... Bobo-ing... and trying just about everything...
I didn't find all the answers that I was looking for. Why does the universe have to be so mysterious?
Maybe I'm being too impatient and overthinking things. I should take a step back and calm down my nerves. I realized that it might take time. I patiently and persistently find out how to open up my mind and stay receptive to new information or data that might challenge my existing assumptions or perspectives.
It's like preparing a target and aiming an arrow with a bow. We must hold it steadily, considering external factors like wind dynamics, and taking the necessary time to steady one's breath for precise accuracy in hitting the bullseye.
Breaking Down the Mysteries
Something I overlooked is breaking down the question into smaller pieces.
It is not about simplifying complex (or abstract) questions to the point of oversimplification, rather, it is about exploring them strategicallysystematically.
Yeah, strategically — systematically.
First, when faced with a question, I always adopt the approach of how I would ask my own grandmother. You see, my dear grandma, is a wise and caring soul, but like many others in her golden years, she prefers smaller and more straightforward inquiries. Lengthy or complex questions tend to overwhelm her memory, making it challenging for her to recall a whole paragraph of information. Moreover, she might not be aware of certain specific topics, as she has not had the chance to keep up with all the latest trends and advancements.
To ensure that my questions are easily digestible for her, I strive to break them down into simple and concise inquiries. By doing so, I not only show respect for her time and cognitive abilities but also create an environment where she feels comfortable sharing her valuable insights and wisdom. Just like cherishing a precious moment with my grandma, I cherish the knowledge she imparts, and it has taught me the importance of clarity and thoughtfulness when seeking answers from anyone, especially from those who hold a special place in our hearts.
Therefore, instead of asked by this abstract question:
"What is success mean for my life?"
I prefer to ask by using this baseline:
"What do I consider as success in my life?"
or
"What are my success metrics?"
And now I can break it down.
- What do I want to achieve in my career?
- What financial goals have I set for myself?
- What makes a relationship successful for me?
- What does a successful state of health and well-being mean to me?
- Which areas of personal growth do I focus on?
- How do I define success in terms of positively impacting others or society?
- What factors bring happiness and fulfillment into my life?
Success is a word that carries immense weight, and rightfully so. It encompasses various aspects of our lives that we strive to achieve and master. From the above-mentioned questions, I classify them into several categories.
- Career Success
- Financial Success
- Relationships
- Health and Well-being
- Personal Development
- Contributions and Impact
- Happiness and Fulfillment
The Grandma Rule always works, and now I can use it as a baseline to consult with experts.
The Conclusion
Throughout this incredible journey, I've come to embrace the truth that some questions will forever remain unanswered. And you know? That's okay. Not everything will be answered right away.
I remember when Captain Jack Sparrow Said:
Yeah, apologize, he is still doing his business, but he pretty much said like so.
Anyway, now, this approach empowers me to make more informed decisions. I appreciate the beauty of the process, I appreciate the art of patience, and appreciate every. single. thing. of human connections and limitations. The more I explore, the more I appreciate the depth of wisdom that comes from the adventure. And, I realized It's not just about the answers, it is about the joy of exploring the unknown, venturing into uncharted territories, and marveling at the wonders that lie before me.
Last but not least, I appreciate you visiting this post. Cheers!
#Life-Journey
